People often ask me why it is that I'm still here after almost three and a half years. I usually say I like it here and it's good for now, and I leave it at that. But a few things happened recently which were perfect examples of why I am still here.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw that there was a small desk being given away for free on a Facebook page for people in Daejeon. I asked if I could have it, but I never heard back from the owner. A friend of mine, Jennifer, later told me that I could have the desk. But since I was sick that day and couldn't pick it up, I figured the desk would be given to someone else. The next morning I got up, opened my front door, and lo and behold, the desk was sitting right outside. Jennifer had picked it up for me because she knew I needed it but was way too sick to go get it myself. ♡
A few days later, I had mentioned to my friend Darren that I was trying to put this desk together but I couldn't figure it out. So what did he do? He came over to my place and put the thing together for me. Now, there were a couple of screws missing from the desk and I didn't have any extra, so he wasn't able to completely finish it before he had to go. This was ok because I could very easily walk down to the hardware store and get a couple of screws for it, which I did.
I walked to the hardware store and asked the owner if he had some single screws like the one I took as a sample and he quickly found the right matches. He didn't speak English, but he mimed and used his minimal English (and I used my minimal Korean) to ask if I had a screw driver. "Opsoyo." "I don't have", I said. I had figured I could borrow one from school the next day, but he pulled one out from his tool box and motioned for me to take it. I looked at him in confusion and he summoned up all his English knowledge to say, "Come on! Come on!", waving his arms in a motion suggesting that I would come back. He was letting me borrow his screw driver and trusting me to bring it back. This man, who I had never met before in my life, took his Phillips screw driver out of its humble toolbox and entrusted it to me, the weird waygookin ("foreigner") with washed out purple hair... Were I to still be in Pacoima, none of that would've ever happened. Well, maybe the part about a friend helping me put it together, but people are so busy that it would've taken forever.
I grew up in South Central L.A. and then in Pacoima. Pacoima was definitely the nicer one of the two. And yet, it was not a good place. My neighbors on one side were 3 guys, 2 were in gangs and the other one was on hardcore drugs. On the other side, there was a family with one son. He was the type of kid who liked to torture animals. And I'm not talking about ants and a magnifying glass... Down the street, there was a guy who I always thought seemed cool, until he got arrested multiple times for I-don't-know-what and his face started showing a LOT of wear and anger. Across the street there was a family that was... how should I say this?... their idea of "playing" made me and my sister very uncomfortable despite our young age and lack of understanding. A couple of houses down from that house, in either direction, there were two rival gang families.
So... needless to say, we didn't get to make friends in our neighborhood in Pacoima. We just kept to ourselves. We didn't trust many people and we didn't talk to them. Not because we weren't friendly, but because it wasn't smart to do so. To be fair, my family and I did have a really awesome group of people in San Fernando and other neighborhoods. They were great, but they were not in Pacoima.
So, why am I still in Korea? You tell me.
I will eventually return home, I know that. Not all of L.A., particularly Pacoima, is bad. Pacoima has actually seen a lot of positive change in very recent years. There are many wonderful things about L.A. in general. And not everything in Korea is perfect. There are many frustrations that come with living here, too. Yes, it's a really good learning experience. Yes, the money is good. Yes, it's very easy to travel from here. Mainly, I feel much safer, much more relaxed, living here. But I will eventually go back to L.A. and hopefully I can help make the place a little better somehow.
