Wanderlust - Epiphany in the Mojave

I was driving down the Mojave Desert listening to something staticky on the radio. I was heading towards Los Angeles but was at least an hour away from the nearest town, if you don’t count the few trailers or random shacks that dot the landscape. I had just dropped off a couple of new friends at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas an hour earlier and I was enjoying the red lights that bejeweled the road ahead of me. A random tumbleweed blew across the two-lane highway, narrowly avoiding being hit by the cars. I could hear a lady singing a sad melody, so I switched the station and finally settled on a Spanish one that was playing livelier music that always reminds me of my mom. I looked right towards a sea of darkness. I looked left, same non-view. The only things guiding me through the darkness and solitude of the desert were all those red lights… And yet, I couldn’t help but smile in amusement and self-surprise at my most recent adventure. 

I had been gone from the U.S. for a little over two years. The last time that I visited Los Angeles was six months into my stay in South Korea, so I was really getting antsy to see my family again. I needed time with my mom, I missed my brothers and sisters, and I really wanted to see my friends from my old neighborhood. So, in mid-December, I boarded a plane from Incheon, Korea to Guangzhou, China to Los Angeles, U.S.A. If you’ve ever seen a globe, you’re probably thinking, “Why the hell would she travel backwards before she headed to L.A.?” Well, it was the cheapest flight that my school could purchase, so there you have it. I had a 5 hour layover scheduled in Guangzhou, which sounded like a terribly long time to wait at an airport, but after waiting at the immigration line, it ended up being not such a long wait at the terminal. I was excited when I finally boarded my second flight because I had requested a window seat. But, because I asked for it late, the only window seat left was right by the emergency exit. I took my seat and, since I had a twelve hour flight ahead of me, I decided to be friendly with the two guys sitting next to me. “Hello,” I said, and we began small talk about the emergency procedures. Eventually I found out that they were tourists from Australia. They were going to be in Los Angeles for a week before heading to Las Vegas and then Miami, so I told them that maybe I could show them around L.A. a little bit. 

When we got to L.A., we parted ways and, after visiting my family, I decided to send them a message on Facebook. We ended up having an amazing few days in L.A. These guys were cool and it was really up my alley to meet new people and go have awesome travel adventures with them. We were all over the place! We went to Santa Monica, Universal Studios, and Saddle Ranch. They wanted to see what real LA people do, so I took them Christmas caroling in San Fernando, to the LA Fashion District, to Carney’s in Studio City for chili cheese fries, I introduced them to the Gingerbread Latte at Starbuck’s, and took them to Walmart (a favorite for them). I taught them how to say, “You don’t know me! You don’t know my life!” like an American and they taught me how to say, “Oi!” like an Aussie (or like one of the sea gulls from Finding Nemo. Lol.). On their last day in Los Angeles, as we were sitting at a Denny’s in Hollywood at 3 a.m. after I had helped them with a few glitches in their travel plans, one of them propped up and said, “Come with us to Las Vegas!” I immediately, and reflexively, said, “I can’t go to Vegas with you guys!” “Well, why not?” says the other guy. “What else have you got planned for this weekend?” I paused and finally said, “You’ve got me there.” It was a moment of impulse. I love those moments.

Every time I tell myself that I can’t possibly do something that to other people may seem crazy, a little voice inside me says, “Why not? You’ll regret missing out on the opportunity.” 

So, as soon as we finished our coffee, I took them to their hotel, went home, slept for an hour, jumped out of bed when my alarm went off, took a shower, got ready, picked them up, and headed off with them to rent a car for an epic last minute road trip to Las Vegas with these two awesome Aussies. Now, because they’re from Australia and I’m American, they relied on me a lot to get them where they needed to be. But, because I’ve been away from the U.S. for a while, I got us royally lost on our way to Vegas. We drove around in circles for a little bit somewhere in San Bernardino County, but we did finally get to Las Vegas, albeit an hour later than intended. Las Vegas was amazing! I’d been there before, but it was even more fun this time because I had been away from the U.S. for two years and I was getting to be a tourist, also. Gambling at the Mirage and the Bellagio, free drinks while they gambled, partying at 1 Oak and Tao, champagne brunch buffets, people watching, and SO MUCH SHOPPING!!! It was an amazing two and a half days in Las Vegas. When it was all said and done, I dropped them off at the airport so that they could go on to the rest of their trip, but not before they promised that they’d be back in L.A. in a couple of weeks and that we’d hang out again. And so began my four and a half hour drive back to L.A. through the Mojave. 

I’m sitting in my mom’s living room, now. The fireplace is on and I’m drinking hot Chocolate Ibarra. I’ve been back in the U.S. for almost three weeks and I can see why so many of my family members and friends have been asking me non-stop, “Is it good to be back home?” “Are you glad you’re back?” “Is it hard to get used to living in Korea?” “Do you ever miss home?” “Are you really going back?” I understand where they’re coming from. I can see how it has to seem weird to even think about leaving the place that you’ve lived in your whole life. “Home” is a sacred word. It’s a sacred place. When people think of “home”, they likely think of a place near their family members; a house that they can nest in and make themselves comfortable. But for me, it’s a word that no longer bears that meaning. Not for now. It took the solitude of the Mojave for me to realize that wanderlust has too strong a hold of me. Driving through the desert that weekend made me realize that I am living the life that I want to live. There are many things that I still want for myself, but right now, this is exactly what I love. The freedom to move around - to do what I want and go wherever I want with whomever I want - is exhilarating. Sometimes this life style gets a little lonely and, while it would be nice to have someone to share my life with, it is not something that I want to do if it means having to settle down somewhere and losing this freedom. Home, for now, is wherever I set my backpack down.