Now, before I continue with my story for tonight, I have to say that there's another blog coming soon about the actual trip to Taiwan. I know I posted one before, but it really just concentrated on my accident more than anything else and I don't want to give the impression that I had a bad time while I was there. So, "Taiwan: Parte Dos" is coming soon to a computer monitor near you...
Anyway, as I was saying, the last few weeks have been interesting despite the fact that I haven't been able to do very much of anything. Mainly because I have witnessed some serious kindness from the people who surround me; not just my friends, but also people who I have never met before or have only seen in passing. Strangers, really. I don't want to paint a rosy picture and say that everything is always perfect. I think that people who refuse to accept that there is always a good side and a bad side to everything are really just kidding themselves. However, people have really been making a good impression on me lately and I think I'm beginning to understand why...
I HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM ADMITTING THAT SOMETIMES I NEED HELP.
Does that sound at all like me? I never really thought of this as a problem because I never really had to think about it. With the exception of moving from one home to another, dealing with daddy issues (shout-out to Scotty and Matt! thanks for all the help!), and other random little things, I've dealt with and figured out most things on my own like a big girl. Usually the hard way. These last few weeks, however, have been very different. I haven't been able to walk, except with the use of my crutches, and I haven't been able to carry things either because my hands are preoccupied with the crutches. This means that I have been EXTREMELY dependent on others for just about everything. It made me, and continues to make me, uncomfortable. If there's anything that I really hate in this world, it's the sight of a helpless woman. Not helpless because she really can't do things herself, but because she refuses to try to do things on her own. Maybe it's very judgmental of me, but that's how I feel. It's how I was brought up. God gave you two hands: one to help yourself and another one to help others. It's also my "survival of the fittest" mentality, I think. Let's face it, I wasn't exactly born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I'm from East L.A. and was raised in South Central and Pacoima. If you can't take care of yourself there and figure out a way to lift yourself up, then there's really not much hope for you or your offspring.
Which reminds me, I'd like to take a moment here to go off on a slight tangent. I have been told by a few people throughout the last 15 months I've been in Korea, that I have a permanent "angry" expression on my face. lol. It used to surprise me at first, but I've gotten a little more used to the comments by now. My explanation for my expression is this: People with benevolent faces don't always make it home in one piece on the walk back from school in the ghetto. I learned that lesson well in adolescence. Pacoima Middle School and San Fernando High, you taught me many things. At any rate, I'm trying to iron out the "intimidating" frown. Don't let it scare you away. :)
Anyway, back to my main topic. People, for the most part, have been AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL to me the last few weeks. I wasn't sure what I was gonna do when the doctor forbade me to walk, but I have had a constant train of people calling and coming over to help me do everything like cooking for me, washing my dishes, sweeping my floors, taking out my trash, going to the bank for me, going to the market for me, fluffing my pillow, picking up the other pillow that fell behind my bed, etc., etc., etc. Why did I really need all that help, because I also bruised my ribs pretty freakin' badly and it hurt like a motherf*cker to move my torso.
And that was just in my home life! My work life has been amazing, too! With the exception of a battle that I had with my boss about paid illness/injury time that I was entitled to according to my contract (and that he refused to give me in the end) (*raspberries*), my co-workers and students have been truly awesome. They've set it up for me so that my desk is the closest to the door and my classes are taught in the closest classroom to the teacher's room. My co-workers have been willingly helping me whenever they can and the kids have been reporting to the office at the beginning of each class to help me carry my books, pens, laptop, you name it! I've been getting spoiled!
Last week, I finally decided that I was done taking my pain killers and that I was going to try to move around a little more. Nothing major, just little things like going to the coffee shop next door or to the convenience store on the first floor of my apartment building. Random people who I've never met have been stopping to try to help me with whatever they can. They open doors, hold the elevator, they extend their arms out to help me down the steps... That one got to me. A little old lady saw me trying to get down the two steps at the front of my school's building and she stretched out her arm and helped me down. I almost started to cry. Not because I was sad or frustrated, but because it was such a nice thing of her to do. It's something that I would've offered to do for an older person on any other day, but she turned it around on me and helped me down. She looked at me with the most concerned face and said something in Korean. She was obviously asking me what had happened, and all I could say was, "Aigo!", which kinda translates to "Oh, my!" or "Oops!" This made her smile a little, she said something else, I said thank you, and we parted ways. Same thing with the owners of the convenience store downstairs. I hobbled in, they saw me, proceeded to carry everything that I had was picking out, and then they refused to let me carry the bag back upstairs to my apartment. The wife came with me and put the bags down just inside my apartment entrance. She did this two days ago and she did it again today. We had a nice conversation, all in Korean, the whole way up today. She asked me what had happened, I told her I was in a traffic accident. She asked me if my armpits were tired from the crutches, I laughed and said yes. She asked me if I had eaten yet, I told her I was ordering chicken from Pelicana in a little while. She looked surprised at that and asked me if the people that take the phone orders speak English, so I said that I speak just enough Korean to be able to order food and have it delivered to my apartment. She laughed, put my groceries down inside my apartment again, and bid me goodnight.
I guess what I'm trying to get at with all of this is that I had forgotten one major part of my "survival of the fittest" mentality. That is, not only must we be able to take care of ourselves, but we must also surround ourselves with good people and inspire them to want to take care of us in the undesired event that we may actually need it. We need to be able to recognize that other people know that they were given two hands also, one to to help themselves, and the other to help other people. Korea, you continue to teach me many things.
<3
