Discussing Gay Rights With Korean Middle Schoolers

It's Thursday Society Class and we're discussing the U.S. Constitution and Constitutional Amendments. We somehow moved into hot topic constitutional debates in the U.S. and this is what trips me out:

South Korea is a pretty conservative country. They usually go the more traditional way in most things. Women are still expected to stay at home and be housewives, men are still expected to make all of the decisions for their families, and there are jobs that are "for men" and "for women." [Example: Teachers = women (if you never noticed it, just take a look around at how many male teachers there actually are at your schools) unless they are university professors.]

Anyway, like I said, it trips me out that Korea is a very conservative country, and yet, I was able to have a normal conversation with my 13 year-old boys about the hot-button issue in the U.S. right now; gay rights. Some agreed with equality while the others disagreed. I didn't want to push it too much because I know that I'd probably get in trouble if I did (although, what are they gonna do? fire me? pffft!). But the point of all of this is that we were able to, in a South Korean middle school hagwon classroom, have a civilized discussion in which we didn't always agree with each other, but we talked about our differences of OPINION and how those opinions differ from constitutional rights and freedoms that should be afforded to any human being. 

I'm quite proud of my middle schoolers. Not because I might have changed their opinions (because I don't think I did), but because they were able to understand human rights, rights as citizens, religious/personal opinions, and most importantly, that we can discuss these issues with each other like civilized people rather than yell at each other and try to stomp on each others' beliefs. 

Today is my last real class with them because next Tuesday we will have a snack party and then my contract at this school will be over. I will miss them sooooo much. These little guys (who are not so little anymore) are amazing human beings who will some day change the world. 

Marisol Teacher is sad, but also happy that she got to meet them, teach them, and learn a lot from them, too. 

<3

Fond Childhood Memories

So, it's been a rainy day today in Daejeon and that means that I'm keeping myself entertained in my apartment. I've been listening to a lot of music and one song that I just can't get enough of is Gotye's "Bronte." This song and video just bring back so many memories of when I was a kid. 

"What?!?", you may ask. "Don't be stupid, Marisol. You grew up in the city." Well, yes. You'd be right. But I did hang out at my mom's school a lot when I was a kid and they had a big garden which, to me, might as well have been a giant forest, seeing as it had more trees in it than the average public park near my house. This garden had trees that seemed to be a million years old and towered over everything else on campus. As a kid, I loved going to school with my mom because the classrooms where she studied English and child development were right next to that garden. This meant that I kept myself entertained at the same time that my mom could keep a constant eye on me because the classroom door was always open. 

My sister Nancy and I used to go there and we'd wander around the place. We would pretend that we were in a secret forest and we would spend hours laying on our stomachs or sitting on the rocks, peering over the small pond and staring at the tadpoles. Eventually, another kid joined us. There was a boy there who I think must've been the gardener's grandson. He was mute (or maybe I just never listened to what he said...), but it didn't matter because Nancy, the boy, and I had a lot of fun just running around and pointing at things for the others to come over and stare at. To this day, I have no idea what the boy's name was. All I remember about this boy is that he was white, had silver blond hair, and smiled a lot. Nancy and I had a lot of fun exploring the forest with him. 

Sometimes I remember those days and I long for them. I long for that time of peaceful innocence; that time in which all that mattered were the trees, the pond, and the tadpoles and bugs that lived there. I long for that time, a time of childhood wildness, in which for a few hours a week, I felt like I was part of something bigger; something organic that I had no control over. Nevermind that this wasn't a real forest, but rather a rinky-dink garden that ended at the chain-link fence that separated it from a residential  cul-de-sac, but for at least three kids, it was special. 

Tacos for Korean Kindy Kids!

So, I was able to convince my hagwon to let me do multicultural days with the kindergarteners. I'm really excited about this because I think the kids can really benefit from experiencing other cultures, especially since Korea is so homogenous. Anyway, we kicked off multicultural day with a lesson on Mexico and the most ubiquitous of Mexican foods, tacos. 


Oh! And the kids got to wear "taquero"/"taquera" hats.


:)

The First Tortilla

My students and I have been reading some stories in their American English textbooks that have to do with Mexican culture and therefore mention tortillas. 


They first learned about tortillas when they read, "Mama's Birthday Present," the story of a little boy who plans a birthday party for his mom and is able to get her a piñata, a musical performance, and fresh tortillas made by one of their family friends. 


This week, they just finished reading, "The First Tortilla," the story of a little girl who saves her village from drought and starvation by asking the mountain spirit for rain.Because of the fact that none of them had ever seen or tasted a corn tortilla, which is what this story is about, I searched high and low until I was finally able to get my hands on some of these and bring them to the kids. We didn't have a real stove at the school, so I had to make do with a little oven. They didn't turn out quite the same as if I had used a stove top, but I guess it was good enough. 

^_^

Frustration Rant

It’s happened. I’ve been here for a while now and I’ve been trying hard to fight it, but it seems my attempts have been futile and I’m finally gonna have to cave to the societal pressure and norms here. Let me explain. 


When I got to Korea in October of 2010, I realized that I stuck out like a sore thumb. I knew that I thought, spoke, moved, acted, and LOOKED different from everyone else here. It started on the first day of work at my first school. I got there and immediately everyone stared at me like I was some sort of circus act. All the kids started pointing out how much taller I was than all of the other teachers at the school, how my eyes were just SO BIG, how I have double eyelids, how my face was much smaller than theirs, they all wanted to know if my hair was permed (teach-ah, pama?), they asked me if I was from Africa (apparently all people with dark skin are from Africa), the younger kids kept trying to grab my boobs to know what big boobs were like, and they were all very quick to point out that I was fat. 


I tried very hard to be patient and explain everything about myself. 
“Yes, I’m tall because I’m American and we drink a lot of milk.” 
“Yes, my eyes are ginormous, even by American standards, because my dad’s family has big eyes.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I only have one eyelid per eye.” (Google double eyelids if you want to know what they are.)
“I’m sorry, what?? What are you talking about? My face is not smaller than yours. Your face is fine. You’re gorgeous.” 
“No, I don’t have a perm.”
“No, I don’t have a perm.”
“No, I don’t have a perm.”
“No, I’m not from Africa. I’m American, despite the fact that I don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes.” 
“These are my boobs and you will not grab them or I will smack you!” (Just kidding. I didn’t really say that, although I really wanted to.)
“Yes, I know I’m fat. Thank you so much for pointing it out so bluntly.” 
That last one did not just come from the kids, but from too many of the grown-ups around my neighborhood, as well. 


I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t bother me that so many Korean people used to take the time to stop me while I was walking down the street and tell me that I was very fat. Honestly, it sucked hard. I never really thought of myself as being all that big. Yes, I know I’m chubby and I’ve dieted before, but I really didn’t think I was that big when I got here. I was exactly the average clothing size for an American woman. But Korean people, and especially Korean women, are not at all like American women in that respect. They’re teeny-tiny. As a matter of fact, I was just having a conversation with one of my students yesterday and she told me (very proudly) that her mother is 161 centimeters (5’3”) and 45 kilograms (99 pounds). Now, I’m no expert, but I’m looking at the Rush University Medical Center website and according to their ideal height and weight chart, she’s actually underweight (ideal for 5’3” is anything between 104-127 pounds). By that same token, I know that I’m beyond what my “ideal” weight would be for being 5’9”. I’m also aware that she’s closer to her ideal weight than I am to mine. Still, being my size didn’t really bother me very much. It bothered me that people were so rude about it, but my size and weight didn’t really bug me. 


Actually, I decided to take all of the things that were so “weird” about my physical appearance and own them. I mean, really own them. I decided to stop wearing bigger clothing that would hide my curves (boobs, butt, and hips) and just wear whatever I thought was cute. I decided to stop straightening my hair every day and just let my hair do its thing. I decided that I would flaunt my skin color (I never thought I’d have to flaunt it, since so many people back home either had skin like mine or they paid a lot of money to get a tan like mine) and be an advocate for the, “Just because we have dark skin doesn’t mean that we’re sad or evil” crowd. I decided that I would own my giantesque eyes, but also point out that their eyes were beautiful as well. I decided that I’d strut down the street, proudly, because of the fact that I can see clearly over the heads of the vast majority of the people here and that I never need a stool to help me reach the jars on the top shelf. I even owned the whole “small face” thing, even though I still don’t really know what they’re talking about. But, overall, I decided to really own my size. 


Too many of them seemed to have this idea that because I was chubby, I was automatically ugly, undesirable, lonely, and pathetic. They would make comments like, “Maybe if you lose weight, you will find man to want to be your husband.” My response, at first, was always that I actually had a boyfriend and that I had been engaged twice previously, but I decided it wasn’t for me. After a while, though, I just realized that I didn’t need to explain myself and that I should just be me and enjoy myself regardless of how many rude comments I got. As it turns out, I actually did end up losing some weight because of the difference in life style here compared to what it was back home. It wasn’t a huge amount, but it was nice because I wasn’t even trying.

Anyway, up until today, I am still chubby and I’ve been ok with it. The only thing that has really bothered me is the lack of clothing that actually fits me in this country. It’s bad enough that I already have limited options because I’m so much taller than most of the people here, but another major problem is that pretty much all of the clothing that is sold here is “One Size”. That means, obviously, that they only make it in one size and your choices are limited to either making sure that you remain skinny, or you walk around naked… 

I don’t know about you, but I have a little bit of a problem with the idea of walking around nakers, no matter how much I own my curves. 

I’ve tried ordering clothes from back home, but the problem is that it becomes astronomically expensive and inconvenient to buy clothes from home because… 
A) I’m always running the risk that they won’t fit well because I can’t try them on first. 
B) I have to pay for shipping to get them to my mom’s house and then I have to pay shipping to have her send them to Korea. 
C) When I buy from a website that delivers straight to Korea, the clothes are disgustingly expensive and then Korean Customs holds my package for ransom at Incheon Airport because they ALSO feel the need to charge me import taxes. 
By the way, Korea, we need to have a serious conversation about your lack of logical thinking and consideration when it comes to this. If you were to simply make clothes in a variety of sizes, all of us non-underweight (and I do mean non-underweight, not just chubby) people would be more than happy to purchase our clothes from you and you would get ALL of the business, instead of being bitter about us buying clothing from abroad and then slapping us with a major tax. But I digress…


I recently started looking at other options because buying clothes from home was just completely inconvenient and hugely costly. I decided to try to have a tailor make simple clothing for me, so I went with a friend to buy some fabric and then took it to a nearby tailor to have her make me a skirt…
THE WOMAN WANTED TO CHARGE ME 5O BUCKS TO MAKE ONE SKIRT!!! And she didn’t even have to go get the fabric because it was already there, sitting in front of her!! Maybe If I was back home and a tailor told me that it was gonna be $50 for one skirt, then I wouldn’t be so upset because the cost of everything there is MUCH higher than it is here. 


I’m sorry, but that’s below the belt. How much more difficult can one place make it for someone like me to be able to wear clothes? 
I can’t find clothes that fit me here. 
I can’t order them from overseas because I have to pay for shipping, shipping again, and then import tax. Seriously, my cost for clothes here is astronomical.
And I can’t have my clothes made for me because the tailors take advantage and jack up the prices. It’s almost as if they all got together and thought, “Hmmm… What else can we do to completely destroy their sense of self-worth and dignity? They refuse to look the way we tell them they have to look, so we’ll just f*uck with them until they cave.” 


Well, Korea, you did it. Congratulations to you. I have finally decided that I am going to lose weight so that I can just buy some freaking clothes and try to salvage whatever is left of my dignity. It’s not bad around my foreign friends because I know they get me and that they accept me for who I am. My dignity is still intact when I’m around them. But seriously, Korea! You know, people are different, and that’s ok! Stop trying to make everyone fit into your cookie cutter idea of what everyone should be like. 


Anyway, my friend and I decided to go on a strict diet and work-out program so that we can lose some weight and finally be able to buy some clothes. They may still not fit because I’m so tall, but at least it’ll be easier to buy shorts, t-shirts, and skirts. Shoes are a whole other Oprah that I won’t go into right now. 


*Sigh* You know what, Korea? I love you, but sometimes you drive me nuts when it comes to things like these. I’m going to go ahead and lose the weight, but there are things about me that I refuse to let you change and that you can’t change even if you try. 


Me llamo Marisol Tena. Soy Chicana y tengo la piel morena. No me vengan con sus cremas blanqueadoras, porque yo no las quiero. Tengo el pelo chino y alborotado y no lo quiero controlar. Soy alta, tengo curvas, y si ustedes no las aprecian, creanme que otra gente si lo hacen. Espero que con el tiempo ustedes vean la belleza en otra gente de la misma manera que nosotros hemos visto la belleza en ustedes.

New Year Tripping in Taiwan

Ok. I know it's been about 6 months now since I came back from Taiwan, but I finally finished the video of my trip. I make these long videos mainly for my family back home because I know they're the ones who are most interested in knowing how my life is going and what it is that I do on my trips to other countries. 


If you're not a family member but are still interested in watching my longer videos, congratulations! You're on my list of cool people. Not that it's a requirement for being on the list, but it definitely gives you a leg up. 


=)

We're Gonna Chill...

Some of you may think that teaching English as a second language might be boring. There are a lot of grammar lessons, a lot of vocabulary tests, and a lot of slow-talking involved in what most people think of as ESL classes. Well, not necessarily. 


It doesn't have to go that way. There is a lot of that stuff involved in my classes, except for the slow-talking. I refuse to slow down to a condescendingly slow speech speed. But aside from that, there is a lot of room, I think, to play with the language and have fun with the kids. I do, of course, teach the kids the "proper" way to speak, but we also joke around a lot and they now understand such things as, "Art thou ready, my dears?", which they get is a very old way of speaking. Another thing that I do with them is that I randomly insert different colloquialisms from different places so that they get a sense of how the language is actually used by native English speakers rather than just how it's done by the book. In this case, I inserted one of my own colloquialisms from back home. 


Enjoy!  =)


P.S. Most of these kindergarteners didn't speak or understand any English a couple of months ago. I think their homeroom teacher, Stacey, and the rest of us have been doing a pretty good job (if I do say so myself).